In My Own Dementia .

I’m sorry . I’m so so so so sorry . I wish I had woken up . I wish it so . I’m sorry . I’m shaking right now . I’m so sorry I couldn’t help . I’m so sorry you weren’t there when I needed you . And whether you’re fine now , I don’t know . I’m just shaking . I feel so guilty . I feel like crumbling to the ground in tears . I’m so sorry . I can’t forgive myself no matter how many times you tell me it’s okay . I wish this had played out differently . Why wasn’t I there when you needed me . Why . Why can’t I do anything right . 4AM and I’m sobbing and shaking . I can’t breathe . I can’t . I can’t . I can’t handle this .